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proud of myself and the loner i've become. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
meg

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(no subject) [Dec. 3rd, 2008|02:46 am]
meg
READING OLD LJ ENTRIES IS SO WEIRD. I
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(no subject) [Jun. 17th, 2008|02:08 pm]
meg
i hate change
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(no subject) [May. 14th, 2008|01:18 pm]
meg
GRRRRR im so frustrated.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO CALL ME
WHEN WE WERE JUST HANGING OUT
THE NIGHT BEFORE AND I SAID
CALL ME IN THE MORNING ABOUT
THE MOVIES?

if this is a preview of how
the summer is going to be,
getting left out and forgotten
about like i was fucking
afraid of then i am not happy.
i KNEW this would happen, and i'm
just gunna lose all my best freinds.

a) my feelings are hurt bc he could just forget about ME that easily.
B) im pissed bc im bored and alone.
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(no subject) [Apr. 30th, 2008|06:26 pm]
meg
i made a really really really bad decision.
i hate it here.
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turn, smile, shift, repeat [Apr. 26th, 2008|12:32 am]
meg
[feeling |sleepysleepy]
[listening to |FIOGHT club]

things have to start looking up right?
RIGHT???!

it's like one bad thing after another..after another
i kinda just want a break. some good luck. something
to be genuinely happy for about a substantial period
of time about.and little things totally make me happy
like an unexpected phone call before bed, and the sunny
weather..so i have hope its just these nights when im alone
that kill me. but summer soon. SOON. im so beyond excited
to make music with matt and dan. i think i need more music
and dance and performing in my life agian., i need a break
from ROUTINE. wake up, train, shitty class, train, sit at
home. repeat. DUMB DUMB DUMB!


note to self: be a better judge of character.
i'm too trusting and quick to become friends with someone, which
often leads to drama and/or getting hurt.
(kim, mallori, ally, liz)
STOP BEING FRIENDS WITH CRAZIES.



i HATE complaining to my friends, and on here..
and being a downer..that's not me
things are going to
start getting better.





now if only i believed that.
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(no subject) [Apr. 21st, 2008|02:25 pm]
meg
i want things back the way they were.
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(no subject) [Apr. 20th, 2008|09:24 pm]
meg
23
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darling i can't replace you. [Apr. 18th, 2008|12:42 am]
meg
oh mannnn..
it's one of those nights.

fuck.

honestly, considering the crap ive been put through lately i think i've been dealing quite well. i try to keep myself busy and distracted, but then every once in a while reality hits me. and it hits hard. and i sit here alone, feeling like a failure, and feeling lonely..when everyones out at the bar getting wasted and with tons of people and and partying with friends. i get this overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach. a feeling of having no control. a feeling of not being good enough. i feel so robotic and numb to life recently. what did i do so wrong to have things end up this way. ugh i just get so angry, and hurt, and frustrated and need to vent.

fuck this.
fuck school, and having HOLDS which will fuck everything up for choosing classes.
fuck commuting.
fuck this project i cant focus on.
fuck not being able to sleep.
fuck ally.
fuck uncertainty.
fuck selfishness.
fuck sitting alone.
fuck being used.
fuck my internet for not working right.
FUCK FUCK FUCK
and fuck you.

k done.
oh yeah ALIX FIND YOUR PHONE BABY!
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(no subject) [Apr. 6th, 2008|03:44 pm]
meg
IRONIC.
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(no subject) [Apr. 5th, 2008|02:41 am]
meg
idk if its the SHIT past few weeks ive had
or that i'm tired
or that i'm drunk
but HOLY FUCK..i dont think ive ever been
happier to be home.
and i saw my best friend rich.
and dan.

come summer.. please.
like tomorrow? thanks.
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